A Day with the Uncles

Of course I wore my seatbelt. I wanh to be safe. I was in the Green Monster, in the middle of the back seat. We picked up Auntie Joanne, got some gas, and then went to the Royal Hawaiian Hotel, where that woman LEFT ME IN THE CAR while some valet drove off with me. He could have stolen me! What was she thinking?

A few hours later, after sitting in the car hot, bored, and lonely - and abandoned! Someone opened up the back and started throwing golf bags into the back. Then, two men sat with me, and That Woman and another man got in front. They spoke Korean! They must be my Uncles! Do you know my Daddy?

I had to sit in the hot car again for a while, but had things to think about, so I was content. A little while later, the woman stuffed me in her bag and we got in Auntie Charlotte's car. I sat on the floor in front, at That Woman's feet until we got to Auntie Charlotte's house. I stayed in the car again, in the nice cool garage, which had a window into the kitchen. I watched them working, one in the kitchen, the other at the computer. Then, loud Auntie Gerrie came. I love Auntie Gerrie! She's Okinawan-American, and funny, and loves my Owner-Woman. She says I'm cute. She's right.

We then went back to the golf course, and three different Uncles got in, these much younger. One was a singer, one an actor, and one a comedian. Owner-woman told them to buckle their seatbelts, and Uncle Comedian said, "Oh! Does rion have his seat belt buckled?" I am not a lion. I am a Joon Bear, and yes, the woman buckled me in. I sat between them and they were nice to me, and the singer was in front, talking with my Owner-woman. "Who is your favorite actor?" he asked her, straight out. She'd agreed to not talk about her club, so that the other Korean actors wouldn't cry. She didn't say anything, so he asked her again. Finally, she said, blushing, "Look at the 'lion's' foot."

There was some conversation in Korean, and you know, I do understand Korean, but what they said is none of your business, so I will not tell you. "Ah! Mr. Bae!" My lovely, nice, wonderful, beautiful-singing voice Uncle said such nice things about my Daddy then! "He is such a good actor." True. "He's very handsome." Yes, and I look like him, do you see the resemblance? "He is very nice man, very kind to his Juniors (younger actors)." I'm not at all surprised. "He is very shy." He went snowboarding with dear, sweet singer Uncle! Oh, you are my favorite Uncle and I adore you! He sang to us the whole way home, quietly, more to himself than to us really, and truly has a lovely voice. I want a snowboard.

They stopped at Papa's office, and that smart woman gave my favorite Uncle a visor and golf gloves and tees to share. If I'd had anything other than my pink blankie, I would have given it to him, he was such a nice young Uncle! I want his CDs!

After dinner at So Gong Dong, where the fish is amazingly delicious, there was some sort of commotion downstairs in the parking garage. One of the older Uncles started yelling at the Juniors to get into the Green Monster, and one of the Senior Uncles got in too. Owner-woman was madly dialing Uncle David and telling him GET DOWN HERE, and the Boss Uncle was screaming SHELLY! DRIVE AWAY! She did. Apparently, everything was fine after that.

I was in an Uncle's lap, as they were sitting three across on the back seat of the Green Monster. The younger Uncles told the Older Uncle about me, and handed me to the front seat. The older Uncle said something rude about Daddy in Korean, then mimicked barfing to the woman. Bless her heart, she punched him hard on the arm and said "You're jealous!" and didn't let it bother her past that. Well, my Daddy is so superior, why fret over such things?

I waited in the car again while she had a meeting, proud of her, and soon she was back at the car, and that older Uncle with her. He opened the door for her, and then thank goodness I was strapped in or I would have mauled him. Bears maul people all the time in America, you know. He kissed her! I was yelling "GET YOUR FILTHY LIPS OFF MY MOMMY, YOU PERVERT!" but he pretended he didn't hear me. How DARE he?? She may be a fat, obnoxious American, but she's my Daddy's fat, obnoxious American, NOT YOURS!

When she got home, she just sat in the car for a couple minutes. Finally she turned to me. "That was so. Weird." You're not going to kiss me on the nose with those polluted lips, Missy. She took me inside, took a shower, and had citrus mint breath when she did kiss me on the nose and tuck me in. Good, I hope she washed all his germs off.

"You're not going to meet him again, are you?" I demanded. "No, I don't think so." she said. Good.